...so i touched it.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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