Actions speak louder than pants.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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