I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
