I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
