Joe is yelling at the trees again.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
