is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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