I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
