I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
