dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
