That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
