Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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