just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
