I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
