Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
