dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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