then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Randomize
