my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
