Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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