You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
