You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
