i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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