so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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