yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
