My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the day after is always just damage control
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
