My room smells like vodka and shame
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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