Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
