Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
