dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just found a bag of teeth...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
