the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
