Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
