is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
