It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
