It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
