The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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