I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
