oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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