trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
