Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
