You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
