I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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