I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
