Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
