He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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