There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
