batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
