My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
