I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
