i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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