I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
