I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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