No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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