Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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