im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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