Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
